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Sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f compassion is not to be con/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fused with sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-esteem.��In a��podcast titled “The Science o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f Sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-Compassion" ¹ Kristen Ne/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f, PhD, elaborates on what the di/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/ference is, plus how to cultivate sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-compassion and it is quite /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fascinating.

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Sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-esteem can be healthy because it’s associated with con/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fidence in one's abilities, and who doesn’t want to be con/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fident in themselves? But it can also be unhealthy i/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f we pursue it competitively and with a sense o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f separation /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/from others.��

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• Example o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f unhealthy sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-esteem: You believe your college major is harder than your roommates' majors and brag about it /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/frequently while putting your roommates down when they talk about theirs.��

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To understand sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-compassion, we must /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/first understand what compassion means. It comes /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/from the Latin “to su/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fer with” or “to su/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fer together”. Regarding compassion o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f, this prompts the question “How do I deal with my mistakes and su/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fering?”. I/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f you’re like I was and sometimes still am, you might beat yoursel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f up with critical sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-talk and /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/feelings o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f disappointment.��

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In the podcast, Kristen Ne/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f presents the key elements ² to cultivating a stable, healthy mindset o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f compassion:

• Mind/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fulness (the /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/foundation)

• Common humanity

• Sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-kindness

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MINDFULNESS:��

To be present with and open to what is… The good, the bad and the ugly. Try not to suppress what is or cover it up with toxic positivity. Sit with your /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/feelings, learn /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/from them, and grow /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/from them.��

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COMMON HUMANITY:��

The realization that everyone is imper/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fect and experiences struggles. The understanding that you aren’t alone or weird /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/for /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/feeling what you /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/feel.

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SELF-KINDNESS:��

You know how to be kind to yoursel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f! You do it with others all o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f the time. Ask yoursel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f “How would I treat my /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/friend i/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f they were in this situation?” or “What would I want the younger version o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f mysel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f to hear right now?” Give that treatment o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f kindness to yoursel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f.��

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• Example o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-compassion: You bomb a test that you studied hard /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/for. You let yoursel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/feel the emotions that come as a result, understand that there’s nothing wrong with you /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/for not getting a better grade, and remind yoursel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f with loving tenderness that you are not de/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fined by one /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/failure. You know that this is a chance to learn, grow, and be more motivated /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/for the /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/future.��

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How can we mani/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fest sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-compassion in a balanced way? Ne/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f uses�� Yin and Yang ³ as examples. When in balance, these energies help us to /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/feel harmonious within.��

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YIN:��

Passive energy. When experiencing su/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fering, tap into yin by cultivating the tenderness to hold yoursel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f through it all with loving connectedness.��

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YANG:��

Active energy. We tap into yang by taking action to alleviate /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fear and motivate ourselves to keep going even ater /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/failure. This can mean /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fiercely saying “No” or standing up /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/for ourselves and others.��

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What are the BENEFITS o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f practicing sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-compassion?

• Improves our physical health and immune /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/function

• Makes us mentally stronger, more resilient and motivated

• Improves relationships and makes us more willing to give to others��

• Contagious to others, as our brains contain mirror neurons and there/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fore are designed to /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/feel the emotions o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f others and mimic their behaviors. Spread the compassion!

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O/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/ften sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-criticism ⁴ gets in the way o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-compassion. The e/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fects are shocking:

• Increases anxiety

• Increases exhaustion

• Causes /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fear o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/failure which can make us not even want to attempt reaching our goals

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With sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-compassion, /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/failure is NOT /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/feared because we have the grit to pick ourselves up and try again, knowing that mistakes are normal and do not de/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fine us.��

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Sources:

1. Ne/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f, K., Dr. (2020, September 22). The Science o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f Sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f Compassion [Audio Podcast]. Retrieved /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/from https://goop.com/the-goop-podcast/the-science-o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-compassion/

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2. Ne/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f. (2020, July 9). De/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/finition and Three Elements o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f Sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f Compassion | Kristin Ne/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f. Sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-Compassion. https://sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-compassion.org/the-three-elements-o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-compassion-2/

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3. Ne/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f. (2018, October 17). Why Women Need Fierce Sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-Compassion. | Kristin Ne/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_women_need_/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/fierce_sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f_compassion

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4. Golden. (2019 January 12). How Sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-Criticism Threatens You in Mind and Body. | Bernard Golden. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/overcoming-destructive-anger/201901/how-sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/compassion/f-criticism-threatens-you-in-mind-and-body