大象传媒

Sweaty hands, a hot /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/face, and an overwhelming /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/feeling that everything you do or say might be wrong. This is what I /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/felt every time I would speak in class or interact with someone. Being an extremely shy, nervous, and a /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/first generation college student, I /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/felt as though people believed I didn't know what I was doing. I would look at my con/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fident peers wondering, 鈥淚s it something innate that I don't have?鈥� While walking or sitting in class, it sometimes /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/felt like people could sense I was out o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f place. Looking around, I would see others /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fervently taking notes, while I thought there was nothing to write down; asking intelligent questions when I could not think o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f any; and doing well with topics that I /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/found di/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/ficult. The social comparison between my abilities and those o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f my peers made me /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/feel lackluster. Feeling like I was being observed and not measuring up to others harmed my overall sense o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f worth (i.e sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f-esteem). I was su/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fering /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/from the spotlight e/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fect: the /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/feeling that people are paying more attention to you than they actually are. I thought that people were looking at me anytime I did anything. Sometimes, even existing /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/felt embarrassing. I thought my emotions and /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fears were readily apparent on my /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/face. This illusion o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f transparency, or /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/false belie/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f that my emotions were more visible than they were, hindered my ability to speak or present in class. I was convinced everyone could tell I was nervous. It seemed like everyone else had it together while I didn't.

As time went on, I knew I had to conquer my /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fear by not comparing mysel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f to others. Below are some tricks and tips that have helped me get over my /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fears.

• Picture people in their underwear.
• While clich茅, it does work. It /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/forces the recognition that your peers are human too. You can put your own spin on it, but remember,they are regular people, not power/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/ful judges.
• Realize that people only post the best parts o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f their lives on social media.
• I/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f you /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/failed a test and /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/felt horribly insecure, you probably wouldn't post about it on social media. People only post highlights o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f their li/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fe, which can be edited, exaggerated, and /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/faked. Don't compare yoursel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f to something that doesn鈥檛 represent real li/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fe.
• Decide to be brave instead o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f con/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fident.
• Sometimes it can be easier to acknowledge that you are being brave rather than /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/faking con/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fidence. Being nervous means you are leaving your com/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fort zone, so be proud o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f yoursel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/for it! For example, i/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f you speak up in class and /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/feel embarrassed, be proud that you spoke rather than staying quiet. These small victories are important!

• Break the veil by asking some o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f your more con/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fident /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/friends and peers i/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f they ever /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/feel nervous or i/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f school/li/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fe is hard. Their answers will probably surprise you.
• Many times, the people we put on pedestals have the same /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fears, insecurities, and problems as us. Pluralistic ignorance is the incorrect belie/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f what others are experiencing, and it's a hard impression to break. I have several smart, con/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fident /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/friends who have told me that they /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/feel like people are constantly analyzing them. They said that school is also hard /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/for them, that they struggle with mental health, as well as sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f-esteem. Their sentiments made me realize that i/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f the two people who I thought were completely /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fine /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/felt this way, I was probably overestimating not only how much attention people were paying to me, but how 鈥減er/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fect鈥� everyone else's li/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fe was.

These tips boil down to three main ideas which helped me change my perspective on how I view not only mysel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f, but others:

• Don鈥檛 put people on pedestals. We are all human and have /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/flaws.
• People's struggles aren't always visible; the grass isn鈥檛 always greener, no matter how much it may seem like it.
• People have their own worries and are not paying attention to you.

It's important to note that change doesn't happen overnight. These techniques can take a while to /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fully implement into your li/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fe. We are only human and it's normal to be nervous and compare ourselves听 to others, but we have to understand that per/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/fection isn鈥檛 something anyone can achieve.

We are all striving to be our best and, in our e/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/forts, may think that we are embarrassing ourselves. It鈥檚 important to remember that we aren't the center o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/centerofuniverse/f the universe, and that's ok.