The Blame Game
by Meira Gildin | Thursday, Nov 10, 2022
In college, your schedule is bound to get busy, so it is vital to take a step back and assess how you react to di/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/ficult situations. Personally, I may /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/find mysel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f staying up way too late or doing nothing o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f consequence, which in turn, leads me to spend less time with my /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/friends. Not having regular social interaction with others o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/ften results in a signi/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/ficant negative impact on my well-being, so why do I /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/find mysel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f constantly staying awake until 4 am? This is an example o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f-handicapping. Another example could be a student who decides to go to a party the night be/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/fore a /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/final. Why would anyone do this? Sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f-handicapping is the term that describes when someone puts obstacles in their way that prevents them /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/from an otherwise positive outcome in order to protect themselves /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/from potential harm. By placing an obstacle in your path you then shi/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/ft the blame o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f the negative outcome away /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/from yoursel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f. I/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f I stay up late and there/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/fore am too tired to go out with /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/friends the next day, at least I do not have to worry about not being invited - I was exhausted anyway, so it would not matter i/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f they had asked me to hang out or not. I/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f the student does poorly on the exam, it is not their /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/fault they did poorly; they were just hungover!
Sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f-handicapping involves shi/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/fting the blame o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f the /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/fault and thereby protecting your sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f-esteem, and your evaluation o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f-worth. Not being invited out, or doing poorly on an exam, can land a signi/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/ficant blow to your /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/feelings o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f-worth, but by creating an external /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/force that is now the reason behind the shortcoming, it 鈥減roves鈥 that the /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/fault had nothing to do with you at all. It was all because o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f one too many drinks- ah, YouTube videos. All o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f this is also part o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f the sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f-serving bias, where people tend to attribute their success to things they actively do, and assume /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/failure stems /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/from external sources that they had little to no control over.
Sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f-handicapping can mani/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/fest itsel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f di/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/ferently in each individual and any given situation, so you have to get to know yoursel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f and understand how you typically react to stress. Know that it is important to take responsibility /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/for your actions and understand the reasoning behind what you decide to do. Did I stay up late completing assignments? Or could I have used that unnecessarily squandered time to see my /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/friends? Was a bad exam grade the result o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f spontaneous outside /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/forces? Or did you have a little too much /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/fun the night be/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/fore in an attempt to shi/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/ft the /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/fault away /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/from yoursel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/for not studying enough? While it can be hard to shoulder the blame /thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/for something gone wrong, once you have become aware o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f the pattern, you can take steps in the right direction to make sure you are taking care o/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f your physical, mental, and academic sel/thrive/students/thrive-thursdays/blamegame/f.